Fire Gardy

Mismanaging games since 2002

Silver Sluggers

So the Silver Slugger awards were announced this week, and a few more trophies are headed to Minnesota to further clutter the shelves in the Mauer and Morneau residences.

The M&M Boys each won the award for the second time (the first was in 2006), and it indicates that they were the best hitters at their position in the American League. Mauer’s really no surprise, he’s obviously the best hitting catcher in the AL right now; Morneau, however, is in the thick of a really tough crowd at first base, and should be both proud and grateful for coming out ahead of Kevin Youkilis, Miguel Cabrera, Mark Texeira, and the rest of the 1B/DH crowd (ie, all the players on the White Sox, Tigers, and Yankees).

I have two questions on this. Given that Morneau has been voted to be a better hitter than Youkilis, and that the gap in their defense is small at best, is it at all possible that Youkilis finishes ahead of Morneau in the MVP voting? (My guess is “yes,” because Boston has more sportswriters than anywhere else for some reason. Oh yeah. ESPN.)

My second question: What does Morneau have to do to get some respect? Seriously. ESPN remembers that Mauer won before, but not Morneau? They list this as his first career Silver Slugger, when it’s obviously not. Here’s the list of historical winners; scroll all the way down to 2006 (about 3 inches) and note that Justin Morneau did indeed win. Is this lack of respect from ESPN related to the upcoming Youkilis/Pedroia-loving that’s sure to come from the MVP voters? (My guess is “yes,” for the reasons given in the above parentheses.)

So congratulations to Mauer, and congratulations to Morneau. You guys are good: keep up the good work.

Oh, and what are the opposite of congratulations? Rebuke-ulations? Good enough.

Rebuke-ulations to you, ESPN, for slighting Morneau yet again. Jerks.


4 Comments so far

  1. FunBobby November 14th, 2008 12:49 pm

    Jason Morneau? Wasn’t he the guy who stole Josh Hamilton’s home run derby title. He is clearly less of a man because he didn’t blow is signing bonus on hard drugs, become a junkie, find God, then make it back to the majors and be good. No, he is a loser who invested his money or bought his mother a house or something totally lame like that. Loser.

  2. sirsean November 14th, 2008 12:56 pm

    Yes, it’s the very same Jason Morneau who tore the heart from the bosom of America by “winning” the home run derby, and spit in the faces of starry eyed children across the country by adamantly and greedily refusing to give the trophy to The Great God-Fearing Josh Hamilton.

    Look forward to the new special on ESPN (in HD!!!!), “The Jason Morneau Story,” which will chronicle, among other things, the period in his life when he was living with Joe Mauer, the questionable circumstances surrounding Mauer’s breakup with Miss USA, and Morneau’s stance on Proposition 8. It’s in HD, by the way.

  3. FunBobby November 14th, 2008 1:55 pm

    and he is from Canada, a country that doesn’t believe in HD!

  4. sirsean November 14th, 2008 2:00 pm

    Canada?! This is an outrage! We can’t have illegal immigrants coming here and stealing our jobs! He simply cannot be treated like any kind of hero. In order to be treated like a hero, you must be born in America and be a God-Fearing recovering drug addict (or recovering “alcholic,” or as I like to call it “person”); exception: you can be a hero if you are foreign-born as long as you are not white. Treating any non-white person as if they are not a hero is racism. This is a rule of media, and we at ESPN follow the rules.

    Therefore, Jason Morneau can SUCK IT! Dirty foreigner. Get your own home run derby trophy, don’t steal Josh “The God Fearer” Hamilton’s. And give Kevin Youkilis his Silver Slugger trophy. And give Derek Jeter his 2006 MVP trophy. Thief.

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