Fire Gardy

Jim Souhan dropped another bit of gold this morning; he criticizes the team for foolishly making no moves, criticizes the available moves, then criticizes the team for overlooking the obvious solution right under their noses. Move Cuddyer to third base!

I’m on record saying that in the past, and I am now reconsidering my position. No opinion espoused by Souhan can be a particularly good one.

Baseball held its winter meetings this year in Las Vegas, where your Minnesota Twins set a record sure to be listed in next year’s “Baseball Encyclopedia.” They became the first major league organization ever to visit Sin City and get outspent by the writer assigned to cover them.

Sure to be listed? I doubt it. There’s probably not a record for that, and if there were, the Twins probably didn’t set it. You know, given that a lot of teams didn’t do anything at the winter meetings, and writer spending is way down given the financial straits of the newspapers. If a single writer had spent more than an entire team, that writer would surely no longer be employed. But I get Souhan’s point here. He is contractually required to make idiotic statements. Done.

Profligate spending built Vegas’ opulent towers. If the Twins were the city’s only clientele, the place would look a lot like Brainerd. As Twins General Manager Bill Smith put it on Friday, ”We have had a very busy winter … and the result is almost nothing.”

Oh my, that’s unacceptable! Bill Smith should write a big check to Vegas to allow them to build more casinos and towers! The Twins need to bail out Las Vegas, otherwise … the city might never have been built! And also, if an entire city consisting of casinos attempted to rely on a single client/gambler, it would look a lot more desolate than Brainerd. Probably something more like this:

That’s right. Suck on that Brainerd.

Smith earned the nickname ”Mr. No” for his thrifty ways. This winter, he’s been more like ”Dr. Don’t Even Think About It.”

More of this? Would you rather have a GM with the nickname “Mr Moronic Big Spender?”

The Twins started the winter with an extra outfielder, no sure-fire setup man and a mess on the left side of the infield. They wrap up TwinsFest today with an extra outfielder, no sure-fire setup man and a mess on the left side of the infield.

And they’re short an owner. Should we blame Smith for that too? There should be more sure-fire third basemen and shortstops on the market! Hall of Famers in their prime willing to sign for the league minimum! Gold Glove fielders with power! Why doesn’t this idiot GM sign them?!?!?

They re-signed Nick Punto to play shortstop. Punto is a wonderful fielder wherever you put him, but he’s played his best when he had to win a job during the season (in 2006 and 2008) and his worst when he was handed one before spring training (in 2007).

This is true, and I’m not a huge proponent of the Punto signing, but I will say this: it’s market value for a good utility infielder. Well below market value for a shortstop. And his annual salary will be 40% of what he’s worth (go to the bottom) in a good year (2006, 2008), and 125% of what he’s worth in a bad year (2005, 2007). If trends continue, we’ll get one good year and one bad year out of him: $13M in value for $8M. There just isn’t that much to criticize about this deal, even if you don’t like Punto. Also, would Souhan have preferred they let Punto walk and let Tolbert play SS? Or Harris? Or re-sign Adam Everett instead? Are there any, you know, available alternatives? No? Then what’s with the complaining?

While they’re looking into free-agent third baseman Joe Crede, the Twins plan to platoon Brian Buscher and Brendan Harris at third. Punto, Buscher and Harris on the left side of the infield — a Twins fan might imagine it working out somehow, but if the Indians, Tigers or White Sox were trying this, Minnesotans would be pointing and laughing.

No, I’m sure Minnesotans would be blindly agreeing with you, Souhan, that the Twins are making a huge mistake that the aggression by our division rivals cannot stand, and that the Twins are foolish for not making ridiculous deals to compete with the clearly positive moves being made by the Indians, Tigers, or White Sox. At least those Minnesotans without access to the internet. You know, like with Mark Derosa.

Crede would provide the righthanded pop and fielding excellence that would fit perfectly into this lineup, and the Twins would obsess over his low on-base percentage less than many franchises, but there is a catch. Crede has a bad back, and he just started working out. So he’d be fine at third base, as long as he never had to bend over and pick anything up.

Crede may not be fully healthy, and he may not be capable of fielding his position as well as everyone is accustomed to. However, I think it’s fair to assume that if the Twins (or any team, for that matter) were to actually sign him to a contract, he will have proved that he’s at the very least capable of bending over and picking up a baseball. Also, where was the myth that Crede’s a great hittern born? He’s been better than replacement level with the bat exactly once in a full season (2006). His OPS+ numbers since 2003, when he first got his full time job: 92, 83, 96, 107, 49, 98. Career: 93. These numbers do not set the world on fire. For reference … Brian Buscher’s career OPS+ is 93. Brendan Harris’ is 97.

What the Twins need on the left side of the infield is a righthanded hitter with pop. What they can afford on the left side of the infield is a fielder with limited range, because Punto and second baseman Alexi Casilla cover so much ground.

The Twins can afford a bad defensive third baseman because the second baseman has good range and the shortstop has average range? Well then, I hope nobody’s planning to complain about the fielding we’ll get from the Buscher/Harris platoon. And what, exactly, does the second baseman’s range have to do with third base defense?

What the Twins need in their outfield is one less everyday player. What they can afford is an outfield featuring Carlos Gomez and Denard Span at two of the three positions, because their range creates so many extra outs.

Afford. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Add up all those factors, and the Twins have two choices, other than sticking with Harris and Buscher:

This should be good.

1. Trade left fielder Delmon Young for a third baseman. Young is young and talented enough to attract the eye of an ambitious general manager, and the Twins have concerns about his work ethic and plate approach.

Should work without problems. He’s young and talented enough that some team will give up a (rare) major league caliber third baseman with power for him, given that he’s a no-glove corner outfielder and there’s such a big dearth of those on the market right now. Wouldn’t you rather give up a starter for Delmon Young than pay a pittance for Adam Dunn? Also, why would he be “good enough” for some team to pay a lot for when he’s not “good enough” for the Twins? This is the “Why don’t we just trade Punto for A-Rod?” question.

2. Move the righthanded-hitting outfielder who grew up as a shortstop and transitioned to third base back to third base.

We’ve talked about this in the past, and it requires buy-in from the veteran Cuddyer. The oldest and most experienced position player on the team. I presume nobody noticed the brouhaha when the Rangers tried to move Michael Young to third base to accomodate a younger player — and Cuddyer’s actually decent at his position. Also, I’ve heard that Cuddyer isn’t that interested in moving around again, given that he feels he’s established his position and that his offense came around when he moved to RF permanently. And if you think you’re hitting because you’re playing right field, then you are. That’s how baseball works.

Would Twins manager Ron Gardenhire give any consideration to moving Michael Cuddyer to third at any point this season?

”No, none,” Gardenhire said sternly. ”Absolutely none.”

Then he got that mischievous look on his face and said, ”That’s as of today!”

Haw haw. What are the odds Gardy just used that “mischievous look on his face” as a way of telling you, off the record, that you shouldn’t bother writing an idiotic article about it. But that couldn’t be.

Last he was heard from, Cuddyer didn’t want to move to third base. My guess is if you wrote down his name at that position, he wouldn’t go on strike.

I’m sure Cuddyer has been “heard from” since saying he doesn’t want to move to third base. I also think it’s immaterial whether he would “go on strike,” which he wouldn’t do no matter what happened unless The Union forced him to. You know, just like all the other players.

Move Cuddyer to third base, and the Twins get better without having to spend any more money or trade any prospects.

It’s so logical, it has no chance of happening. That’s as of today.

Fin. I’m sure the entire article could have been summed up with: “I had a great idea! Everyone else in the world has also had the same idea, and the parties involved don’t think it would work for various reasons. And they won’t talk to me about it. Also something may change in the future, or it might not. So … no reason to waste your time with the details.”

But then we wouldn’t have got that great joke about Brainerd. So take that, you stupid people who live in a small town that by some failing of yours is not as glamorous as Las Vegas! You suck!

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